The Following Is a Description of a Healthy Family Based on Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. A need is something you have to have to be healthy, and as such, it is not optional. While a need may be unmet and a person or family may survive for a while, it is like subsisting on a substandard diet. One ends up malnourished. Needs are not to be confused with wants. A want is a wish or desire for something, a craving. As those who deal with alcohol and drug addicted people, a craving is not a need. Diener and Tay proved Maslow was right. There are universal human needs.[1] As the word “hierarchy” suggests, the needs are placed in an ascending scale of importance even though they are all interdependent and necessary. People tend to achieve basic safety needs before other higher needs.[2] Maslow himself wrote that the relationship between different human needs and behavior are often motivated simultaneously by multiple needs. (See A. Maslow, Motivation and Personality , Harper & Row, New York, NY. 1987, p.51.) [3] It should be noted that while the author uses biblical language in his description of the needs, Maslow was an atheist and differed from Freud in that he, Freud, considered spirituality as a guide to direct behavior.[4] Maslow’s hierarchy of needs has been interpreted as a pyramid with the mere basic needs at the bottom.[5] But meeting these needs may occur simultaneously.[6] Physiological Needs include breath, food, water, sex, sleep, homeostasis (to resist or slow down change), and excretion (to separate waste material from the blood, tissue and from the body). Safety Needs —Security, order, stability of the body and emotional/psychological well-being of the individual. Aids to this include employment, resources, morality, the family, health and prosperity. Love and Belonging Needs —Love is unconditional. It includes love of self and the experience of love in family and among friends. It also includes sexual intimacy with the right person, at the right time of a person’s life and for the right reasons. It is not to be forced, violent or immoral. It includes belonging needs: to relate, to be connected to, to be a part of, and to have a close affinity for those with whom one is related, as in, these are my people. This is my place. This is with whom, and where, I belong. Esteem Needs —include self-esteem, believing and accepting oneself to be precious, of high worth and value, feeling and acting in a self-confident manner. This is to have a full belief in, being fully assured of and certain in one’s position, authority and role, to function successfully. Being free to achieve, while showing respect for self and others, all the while being respected by others and intimates. Wives respect your husband by submitting to him. Husbands love, sacrifice and provide for your wife sacrificially, even as Christ loves the body of Christ. (Ephesians 6:23-33) Self-Actualization Needs —include the ability to fully achieve, the freedom and confidence to move yourself to, or successfully to attain by effort, self-discipline, practice and skill, to be all that you have potential to be and to accomplish all that God created you to do. It is being and doing. In order to be self-actualized one must be free to succeed or fail without loss of prestige. There are two common sayings that express this thought, If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again . A spin-off of this is, If at first you don’t succeed, you are like most other people . Failures occur in all new endeavors. One should not be diminished by mistakes but should take them in stride and learn from them. If you are afraid of failure, you will not try new and different things and will not develop and achieve. The characteristics that Maslow developed in self-actualization where what he observed in people who achieved and were positive and healthy in their view of life. Morality —those in whom their character is in accord with principles and standards of right conduct and virtue. Creativity —the ability to form something new by observation or intellectual effort or combining things already known in a different manner or processing to create something new. Spontaneity —behavior that arises out of natural feeling, temperament and disposition without compulsion, constraint or premeditation. Problem Solving —the ability to provide a satisfactory answer to a question, matter, situation or person to resolve a difficulty or something that must be done. Prejudice is making a judgment or forming an opinion before the facts are known. It is acting on a preconceived idea. Acceptance of Facts —to believe and recognize that something is reality. It is truth that something really is and that its consequences and benefits are real. Families provide the framework so that the family as a whole and the individuals in it may realize the five groups of needs in their lives. No families do this perfectly. Dysfunctional families usually do not provide the structure to attain anything more than the physical needs in level one. Healthy families do their best to see that the five basic needs are met in all. Love covers a multitude of sins. (I Peter 4:8) NOTES 1. https://en.Wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham Maslow 2. Ibid. 3. Ibid. 4. Ibid. 5. Ibid. 6. Ibid. For more information and help check out Dr. Coad’s book, The Divided Soul in the Book Store. Category: Norman's Place Tag: Multiple Personality Disorder

Satan’s Destructive Works to Bring About the Will of Satan on Earth as It Is in Hell By definition, there is no virtue, no goodness, no safety, no comfort in Hell, nor with those Satan directs and controls. Those caught up in his evil schemes have no power over, no escape from, Satan, demons or spirits of the dead (some of which are ancestral spirits who have died and gone to Hell). Anyone who does not know Jesus as savior and lord and does not have the Holy Spirit dwelling within and working through him does not have the seal of the Holy Spirit. He does not have any authority, power or victory over the evil ones. In our own strength we are powerless against the evil ones. The ones without the Holy Spirit (who obey Satan and do what he says) live lives which become one long night of hell (Ephesians 1:13-14). All of us who do not know Jesus as savior and Lord are dead in our transgressions and sins and we live in Satan’s power, following the ways of this world and the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. We carry out the lowest cravings of our sinful nature to fulfill the evil desires and commands of the wicked ones (Ephesians 2:1-3). The Sources of Shame, Self Hatred, Terror and Death Generational Causes We of the West do not think of ourselves as one of a continuous line with those who have lived and died before us. Most of us see life in relationship to our family and those around us. However, traditional people and those in Eastern cultures and also those of underdeveloped lands and people see life as continuous interactions between the living and the dead—the living and the ancestral spirits. In the traditional, religious world people honor and venerate the ancestors. Often, they build spirit houses for the spirits of the dead and/or use masks through which to communicate with them. They pray to them, do rituals with symbolic significance before idols.They give offerings to them and the priesthood that serves the spirit world and the temples of idols. Some carry-on conversations with the dark spirit world. They may serve as mediums between the living and the dead. They often make blood sacrifices to the spirits of the dead and demons. These sacrifices may be evil deeds. Generally, they fall into the categories of evil, wickedness, corruption and violence. At some point they end in violent death. When a people’s allegiance to evil spirits is broad based, the collective concentrated power of evil is manifested in mass destruction, wickedness and murder. We see it as war, famine, pestilence and martyrdom of innocents. These are not rare occurrences. Unfortunately, they have frightened, afflicted and destroyed the human race with dreadful historical regularity. In the Bible, the influence of the past on us (who are alive) personally is referred to as generational sins and blessings. It is written, “I am the Lord your God…punishing the children for the sins of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate Me (do not obey my teachings) but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments” (Exodus 20:2-6). This is to say that there is succession of physical, behavioral and spiritual descent from father to son to grandson. It shows up in the lives of both men and women. What we do matters. If we sin (and we all do) there is a negative generational consequence. If we confess our sins, He (God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (I John 1:9). To sin is to disobey God’s Word and His will for our lives. When we sin, we become impure and practice unrighteousness. More than that in our disobedience we give the devil a place, a base in us from which demons may operate in our lives (Ephesians 4:26,27). Unconfessed sin from which we do not repent becomes generational sin from parent to child. Likewise, if we confess and turn away from our sins, God, Who is both faithful and just, will bless a thousand generations. This righteous act of confession and repentance blesses not just us and our children but blesses a whole nation. “Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people” (Proverbs 14:34). It matters not that we are ignorant and sin out of our ignorance. False or Incomplete Principles and Systems of Thought Fate There are those who believe in fate. That is, they believe every incident in our lives is inevitable and our lives cannot be changed. Our destiny is controlled by a superior power. Every event is determined beforehand. Nothing can be altered by our choices or acts of our free will. This is not true. Yes, it is a fact that we live in a spiritual, environmental context that is powerful and real, however, the generational weight and currents of the past can and should be confronted. With God’s help we can begin again. We are able to transcend our generational sins by acts of our will and spirit in the name of the living God. Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved (Romans 10:8-13). Behaviorism The behaviorists explain the above in logical fashion with scientific experiments and clinical procedures. They place responsibility for our human calamities on physical causes and corrupt non-evidence-based thought and conclusions that can never be tested. At times, this is true. However, issues like hunger, injustice, greed, corruption, evil and violence have long been with us and do their wicked deeds. A non-scientific environment and a culture where the scientific is much admired and broadly practiced are alike in one crucial way: both are shot through with evil wickedness, corruption and violence. A utopia, with its perfect political and social systems, has never existed. Nor is it plausible to assume that it will in the light of present and past human history. Idealistic, imaginary perfection in human behavior is a myth. At best, environmentalists offer a partial answer to these age-old problems. We are always left with questions such as, how shall we love one another and live in peace? The New Age Pagan Thought The neopaganism that is pervasive in many of our cultures from North to South and East to West, whether the language is English, Russian, Chinese, Spanish or one of the many dialects, reproduces destructive seed and becomes rooted in many and works its age-old woes. Idolatry becomes widespread. Standards of morality and whatis good, true and beautiful are redefined as valid by individual choice and belief. No man’s values and standards are better than anyone else’s. What is right or wrong is based on a continually changing consensus of thought. There is no basis of truth that grounds us in the bedrock of reality. Each person does what is right in his own eyes. This leads to moral, cultural and political chaos. We lose our way. We cannot verify if we are on our way or have wandered off the track. We are not sure we have arrived at our destination or even if the place we come to is our destination. We are lost! When one raises up a standard of absolute truth, even if it transcends language, particular and personal history or cultures and has proved to stand and function over time, it is rejected. One hears such things as, “How narrow minded!”, “How bigoted!”, “You can’t define for me  what is right for me!” and “Where do you get the right to judge me?” Where indeed! The Bible in American Culture Since the Reformation, Western people put the Bible into the language of the average citizens so that they could read what it said. The Reformers understood that if we had access to the truth of the Word of God, we then had the authority to make valid decisions and even judge kings, priests, judges, others and our own selves based on the Word. This overriding principle has been applied all over the world in every tongue, tribe and nation. It always transforms, redeems and gives life more abundantly. The present effort by some in our cultural war centers around reinventing the cultural norms of our nation on something other than that of the real historical facts. Others strive to preserve and nurture our Judeo-Christian biblical roots in this present time in our history. If the secular, humanistic, pagans succeed, they will create a huge deficit in communication and understanding. The Bible is almost universal and helps other cultures and peoples understand us. The Bible has been translated into many languages from the biblical languages of Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek. People who read the Bible in their primary or secondary language read the same concepts, principles and world view of the Pilgrims and the Founding Fathers of our nation. This creates great understanding and helps clear communication.There are no absolute figures available of world population and literacy. However, there are accurate estimates available. The Earth’s current population as of June 2017 is 7.5 billion. Of that, the full Bible (Old and New Testaments) has been translated into 636 languages. The New Testament alone into 1,442 languages and portions of the Bible into 1,145 languages. That amounts to 3,223 languages. The accumulated number who have access to the Bible approaches 90% to 95% of the world population. These translations represent the work of translators over time. By 2025 Bible translators are working to complete the Bible in every remaining language.[1] There is no substitute for the Bible in the heart language of the people. There is no dynamic equivalent to replace God’s written Word. Legacy and History of the Judeo-Christian Ethic The Bible and Judeo-Christian teachings have been a dynamic part of North America’s history from its inception. The Pilgrims drew up the Mayflower Compact  in November 11, 1620, while aboard ship. They chose to establish a government. It was based on majority rule and allegiance to the king. They named their settlement Plymouth. With the Mayflower Compact  the Pilgrims established a social contract in which the settlers chose to consent, and they agreed to follow the Compact’s rules and regulations. This civil government provided a basis of secular government in North America. Forty-one male passengers of the Mayflower signed the agreement. These people had formed a congregation in Leiden, Netherlands and stayed there eleven years as a religious community built around the written Word of God in their own English language. They were considered separatists in England and were a persecuted people under King James. They referred to themselves as saints (those who have the Holy Spirit by salvation by grace through faith), adventurers and tradesmen. Their stated purpose and motivation were, “for the Glory of God, and advancements of the Christian faith and honor of our King and Country.” [2] The founders of the Constitution held strong religious convictions and were generally committed to an organized church. Of the fifty-five delegates to the 1787 Constitutional Convention, twenty-eight were Anglicans (The Church of England), twenty-one were Protestants, two were Roman Catholics. A few prominent Founding Fathers were anti-clerical Christians (such as Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin). There was also influence from theistic rationalism.[3] In the absence and rejection of Judeo-Christian teachings and principles, a vacuum occurs in society and in its individual citizens. Their life’s purpose is limited to thematerial world, the cravings of the flesh and their sinful nature. This is universally true. This in turn leads to destruction, evil, wickedness and violence. Ultimately this produces death individually and collectively as a nation. Where there is no revelation, no vision, the people cast off restraint and perish (Proverbs 29:18a). However, the hope and prospect of the righteous is joy, but the hopes and expectations of the wicked shall come to nothing and they and their schemes will perish (Proverbs 10:28). What follows is a brief listing of verified court cases that illustrate the lives of people who disobeyed God’s principles and clear teachings. Their destructive and corruptive behaviors when they chose to obey and follow Satan are clearly stated. Court Evidence of Satan’s Destructive Work These proofs were taken from the report “Satanism and Ritual Abuse Archive” by Ellen P. Lacter, PhD. in Evidence of Ritual Abuse, January 1, 2007.[4] The following represents a few of the court cases where the defendants were motivated by Satanism, demonic or occult forces to commit great evil. As of July 4, 2007, a Lexis Nexus search revealed more than 30 Appellate Decisions in which The Satanic Bible was mentioned. In McCorkle v. Johnson (1989)  [5] the court wrote “The prohibition on Satanic materials…requested by the plaintiff is justified.” McCorkle recounted two of the rituals espoused by The Satanic Book of Rituals. The fertility ritual included the sacrifice of a female virgin, preferably a Christian. The initiation ritual called for wrist slashing, blood drinking and the consumption of human flesh—especially fingers. The candles preferred by the plaintiff and other Satanists “are not made of wax or paraffin, instead they are made from the fat of unbaptized infants”. The plaintiff had been observed drawing his own blood, by slicing his own wrists and had asked other inmates for their blood. In Maine v. Waterhouse (1986)  [6] the appellate court quoted passages from The Satanic Bible to prove and uphold the Satanic motivation for the crime. In Adoption of Quenten (1997)  [7] the appellate noted the perpetrator had read The Satanic Bible. In   State of Idaho v. Thomas Wendell Helms  [8], the dissenting judge argued for a stronger sentence against Helms. He gave his reasons based on the legal history of Helms: As a youth Helms had sexually violated a young girl and his younger brother. He was designated a sexual predator shortly thereafter. His parole officer stated Helms had no conscience. Helms slashed the throat of one inmate and planned to murder another one. After the attack he told officers that if they had not stopped him, he planned to eviscerate the victim, pull out his internal organs and eat some of them. Helms repeatedly displayed a fascination with homicide, cannibalism and idealized Charles Manson. In the year 2000 he told investigators that in 1994 he was involved in the murder of a female African American prostitute, ate her heart and assisted in cutting up her body into pieces. He also confessed to another murder at that time. He reaffirmed that these statements were true, that he was part of a satanic cult at that time, also engaging in murder and cannibalism. In Russell John Smith v. State of Virginia  [9] the court sentenced Smith to 48 years for four counts of rape. The news reports stated that the self-described Satanist Russell John Smith, 38, a former guard at the Prince William County jail and founder of a satanic worship group on the Internet, plead guilty to four counts of rape. He claimed that most of the sex acts with a 12-year-old girl was part of his satanic rituals. Police searched his home and found numerous satanic items, including robe, black candles, a goat’s skull, a pentagram and an altar. See “Virginia Fugitive arrested in Oregon” Associated Press, Sept 4, 2002; “Self-Described Satanist Sentenced to 48 Years for Rape”, Associated Press. July 25, 2003: “Sentencing Delayed for Satanist Who Raped Girl,” Associated Press, June 19, 2003; “Metro in Brief” The Washington Post, July 28, 2003. Joseph Frank Cala II, Conviction of Murder —January 8, 2003 ,  Fort Worth, Texas, Tarrant County Justice Center, Case No. 0822743, Joseph Frank Cala II, Conviction of Murder. [10] The news reports stated Joseph Cala, 41, pleaded guilty to murder in the 2001 death of his 79-year-old mother, Lydia M. Cala. He beat her to death, sliced her open and ate some of her heart. After a three-hour hearing, the District Judge chose the maximum of the 20–30-year sentence contained in the plea agreement. The victim’s daughter testified that she went to her mother’s house the evening of October 15, 2001, after neighbors called and said windows had been shattered from inside the house. She was afraid to enter the residence due to fear of her brother, so she called authorities. Officer Kevin Meador testified that when he looked through the bedroom window, he saw a naked, bloody man standing over what he learned later was a woman’s mutilated body. Another officer saw Cala eat what appeared to be an organ (according to police reports). Meador and other officers took him into custody. He told them they had interrupted his “sacrifice.” The 76-pound woman had a broken nose, teeth, collar bone, ribs and multiple bruises and cuts likely caused by fists or feet (from medical examiner’s findings). After she died her chest and abdomen were cut open and some organs were removed (Medical Examiner’s testimony). Part of her heart contained teeth marks, and a piece was missing. In Paul A. Bonacci v. Lawrence E. King [11] the court documents (and a book published by Paul Bonacci’s attorney, ex-senator John de Camp), state that Lawrence E. King organized groups of children to sexually blackmail and compromise politicians and businessmen while serving as Manager of the Franklin Credit Union in Omaha, Nebraska. King had political ties that reached the Presidency of the United States, and he sang at the 1988 Republican National Convention in New Orleans. Paul Bonacci, who suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder (now called Dissociative Identity Disorder) stated that, as a youth, he had been subjected to mind control. He had been transported across the U.S. and was forced to have sex with various people, forced to deliver drugs and forced to participate in Satanic snuff films [12] where Lawrence E. King was present. He identified the Bohemian Grove in Northern California, a well-known gathering/meeting site for politicians, as the location of a Satanic murder, and he had inside knowledge about many Satanic ritual abuse cases around the country that he claimed to be present at. These include a case in Jordan, Minnesota, in which Jim Rod was the only defendant charged, and in Bakersfield, California, another case, in which several individuals were criminally charged for the sexual abuse of children within the context of ritual abuse. Note 1:  There were claims of high-level pressure and threats against those who testified forcing some to recant their testimony. One sexual abuse victim, Alicia Owen, was charged with perjury due to naming the Police Chief, Robert Wodman, as one of the abusers. She served prison time for this charge but was released in 2000. Paul Bonacci claimed that the sex ring that plunged him into Satanism and Mind Control was centered at Offutt U.S. Air Force Base, near Omaha. The main investigator assigned to his case, Gary Cadiori, died in a suspicious plane crash shortly after he took statements from the children. John DeCamp linked Lt. Col. Michael Aquino, leader of the Satanic group, The Temple of Set, to mind control operations. Child victims gave evidence in depth of the roles of Lt. Col. MichaelAquino, “He was long the leader of Army Psychological Warfare Section which drew on his expertise and personal practice in brainwashing, Satanism, Nazism, homosexual pedophilia and murder.” There are many other court cases that could be cited. The above was meant only to be an insight into the proven cases where Satanism was the motivation to do great evil. It is very broad based. The point of this writing is to document through proven sources that Satan is active at many levels, in many ways, to corrupt and lie, destroy and kill us. In Christ (those of us who know Him and have His Holy Spirit within us), if we use His authority, we can and do defeat and shut Satan down. Note 2:  Snuff film—A pornographic movie of an actual murder (the person is actually murdered or commits suicide). In the case of Australian pedophile Peter Scully revealed that he was selling on the dark web films of himself torturing and raping children, but these films do not show him murdering the victims. Notes 1. https://www.biblica.com   (International Bible Society) ; https://www.wycliffe.org  (Wycliff Bible Translators); http://clgus.com/about_ibt.htm   (The Institute for Biblical Translation). 2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mayflower_Compact . 3. https-//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Founding_Fathers_of_the_United_States . 4. http://endritualabuse.org/category/evidence-of-ritual-abuse/   “Satanism and Ritual Abuse Archive” by Ellen P. Lacter, PhD. in Evidence of Ritual Abuse, January 1, 2007. 5. Ibid., August 24, 1989, Charles McCorkle v. W.E. Johnson, Warden, Joseph Kalb, Chaplain, Freddie v. Smith, Commissioner, United States Court of Appeals, Eleventh Circuit, 881 F. 2d 993, Denial of Satanic Material Affirmed. 6. Ibid., Maine v. Waterhouse (1986). 7. Ibid., Adoption of Quenten (1997). 8. Ibid., January 6, 2006, State of Idaho v. Thomas Wendell Helms, court of appeals of Idaho, 137 P.3d 466, 2006 Ida App. Lexis 3, Sentencing for battery of a correctional officer modified. 9. Ibid., Russell John Smith v. State of Virginia. 10. Ibid., January 8, 2003, Fort Worth, Texas, Tarrant County Justice Center, Case No. 0822743, Joseph Frank Cala II, Conviction of Murder. (See also, “Man Gets 30 Years for Killing, Cannibalizing Mother” Associated Press, January 8, 2003.) 11. Ibid., Bonacci v. Lawrence E. King; February 19, 1999, United States District Court for the District of Nebraska; $1 Million Default Judgement for Conspiracy,Emotional Abuse, Battery, False Imprisonment. 12. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/  Snuff_film . Category: Norman's Place Tag: Multiple Personality Disorder

Dissociation is a hereditary psychological ability given by God to help us to live with and overcome and not be defined by the trauma of abuse. Because it is generational it runs in family lines. These families are in every socio-economic level, from the most prosperous to the profoundly poor. They are among the most educated to the least. Dissociation in these families crosses all genders. It produces patterns of behavior and moral/ethical practice that transcends the generations. These families can and do try to hide the abuse by living a double lifestyle–public and private. On the other hand, some are blatantly evil in their behaviors and make little pretense or effort to cover it up. At the root of the behaviors is the love of money, power, and authority. They do whatever is necessary to get what they want without concern for the damage done to their victims. To put it bluntly, their motivations are demonic. They are not what they seem to be. The demonic behaviors manifest in their treatment of children. They ritualize their children, usually before four years of age. The earlier the trauma, the more profoundly dissociated the victim will be. They often incest the children. They traumatize them with fear. They abandon, reject, blame and shame them. Their children are dominated by a need to control in order to feel safe and secure and a need to be empowered. At this point, the demons come to them and promise them the power they crave. The evil ones make a crooked deal based on the traumatized one’s obedience to what the demons, spirits of the dead, and ancestral spirits tell them. The children see the evil spirits as their friends. Power and authority in the demonic world are based on doing evil. The more evil one does the more power and authority the demonic ones give. They, of course, never tell the victims that the wages of sin is death. Most people do not like the lifestyle, but there are some who do. This latter group will be what the Old Testament calls belial (worthless individuals). The New Testament calls them people with a reprobate mind, those who love and serve evil and hate God and goodness (Romans 1:18-32).  The warfare that must take place must be fought in the spiritual world. All believers have authority to loose and bind. This is based on the believers’ declaration about Jesus, “You are the Christ the Son of God” (Matthew 16:13-19). This profession is the rock on which the entire church of the Lord is built. To loose means to permit; to bind means to forbid. In the name of the Lord, we may testify that Jesus is the Christ, heal the sick, and cast out demons. Through prayers in the name of the Lord, we exercise our spiritual authority over the evil ones in order to redeem those who are lost and demonized. Therefore, prayer is the key spiritual weapon. Our prayer is based on our personal relationship to the Lord Jesus Christ. The Prayer: In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we pray for all our abused ones by name. We shut down all verbal, emotional, psychological, physical, sexual, ritual, and religious abuse. We attack and shut down all the evil of the alcoholic, drug addicted, sexually addicted, satanist, and dominant/submissive codependent home. Lord, we pray for the afflicted ones and any demonic wounding and oppression for our children as well as grandchildren, children’s children until You come again. May they date and marry men for the women and women for the men who order their lives according to the will of God, the word of God, in the power of Your Holy Spirit, in Your name and for Your glory, Lord Jesus Christ. May they use the word of God for correction, instruction and training in righteousness that the man and woman of God be prepared to do every good work to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ, Yeshua Messiah. We come against all fear, pain and unmet expectations that produce anger, and the stuffed anger that produces rage. We attack, shut down, destroy and bind rage of every type and sort, and kind. We root it out completely. We sever the root from the trunk, the trunk from the branch, and the branch from the bud. It is not permitted in the least to afflict, wound, or destroy. We pray this in Your blessed name, Lord Jesus Christ.  Category:  Norman's Place by  Norman Coad

Boundaries are guidelines, rules and limits, the purpose of which are to be able to relate to one another without hurting or doing damage to one other. They are for protection of ourselves and those who relate closely to us. Some boundaries are societal or global, some are personal. Whatever type they are, the general goal is the same. Boundaries help to define us as a people, and personally, as individuals. Boundaries set limits for each person individually. They make clear the limits of our personal freedom. Boundaries also set limits of appropriate behavior of society as a whole in relation to its citizens. Neither individuals, nor governments, have unlimited freedom. Boundaries set the point at which a limit has been violated. They set the line where societal authority ends and where individual authority begins, and conversely, where individual authority ends and where societal authority begins. For most people, boundaries are absorbed and interpreted from their family of origin. If the family has reasonably good or healthy boundaries, then there is structure that assures love, safety and security, etc. (See the article A Healthy Family Structure an   Interpretation of Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. ) As a rule, the healthier the family, the better the boundaries. The healthier the family, the more functional and well-adjusted the members of the family are. Families marked by poor boundaries often exhibit dysfunctional adaptations to life. When corrupt behaviors, values, thoughts and emotions occur, everyone in the family is afflicted. These faulty adaptations to acute, ongoing dysfunctions result in dysfunctional maladapted individuals. They often project this into the future with ongoing wounding to themselves and those around them. Various types of abuse occur: verbal, emotional, sexual, psychological, physical, ritual or religious. Abuse occurs when basic needs are not nurtured. Negative, critical, faultfinding relationships of perfectionism often occur and do great damage to children. Their self-esteem is not nurtured and they become discouraged. Making age-inappropriate demands does its part to wound as does emotional deprivation and shaming in a chaotic family environment. In order to relate in such a way that we do not hurt someone else and they do not hurt us, we must respect, accept and obey the limits set by others and ourselves. The boundaries set by others for us all are arbitrary. We personally and directly are notgiven a vote in the matter. When we become aware of boundaries, they are found all around us. They are everywhere at the same time and are of many kinds. Arbitrary boundaries are imposed on us by the authority structures governing us. Their purpose is to limit or stop the mayhem that intentionally or accidentally injures others in some way. Their objective is to limit destruction, corruption, evil, wickedness and violence against others. These set outside limits beyond which we are not permitted to go. They are not intended to impose rigid, minute control but allow us individual choice as to how we are to conform to the broad norms of society. One group of arbitrary boundaries are our traffic laws. These are clearly set to protect our lives and are systematically consistently reinforced. For example, a stop sign is always eight sided, painted red and says “STOP.” Its meaning is defined in our traffic laws: “Bring the vehicle to a full stop. Look both ways. When it is clear. Proceed ahead.” Our highways are divided by lanes with painted stripes. We are taught to drive on the right side of the road and stay in our lane except when passing. Daily we pass many cars very closely but do not get hurt. However, if we decide to exercise our personal freedom and drive on the left side of the road, our pain, and the pain of others will go up dramatically. This is a misuse of our freedom and shows very poor judgment. There are speed limits and warning signs as well. All effective traffic limits require that they be reinforced. Police officers are empowered by law to enforce the traffic laws. They write tickets, levy judgments that bring certain negative results on the drivers from fines to revoking their license. This lowers the pain of relating closely. It is a positive outcome. It is not selfish, or a misuse of authority. It is necessary. Another type of law is that which is self-imposed. This is the restraining power of religious beliefs and practices. Traditionally, in America, the religious boundaries are based on the Jewish Scriptures of the Bible. Biblical limits are placed on individual and collective behaviors. The boundaries arise from the very nature of the Judeo- Christian God, Who is three-in-one, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He created us and all that is. The boundaries instruct and discipline us so that we live in harmony with God, nature and ourselves. Everything arises out of a personal, loving, obedient relationship to Him. The Ten Commandments are behavioral and moral limits for we humans to follow. They are universal and transcend the laws of man of every language, nationality and culture. They are for us all. They are a reduction of the Law of Moses into ten principles of healthy living. (Exodus 20:1-17) They state:• Love Me (God) and keep My commandments. • Do not misuse the name of the Lord your God. • Worship the Lord your God. Do not worship idols. If you worship idols, you curse yourself and your generations. • Honor your father and your mother. • Do not murder. • Do not commit adultery. • Do not steal. • Do not lie. • Do not covet. There are many boundaries that limit damage done in interpersonal relationships: Protection of Life • If a man kills someone unintentionally, he is to flee to a refuge place. (Exodus 21:13) • If a man kills someone deliberately—Take him away…and kill him. (Exodus 21:14) • If someone hits a pregnant woman that causing severe damage he is to be fined based on a premature birth and based on the damage done. (Exodus 21:22-25) Protection of Property • If a man steals an animal, he must pay back four to five times its value lost. • If a man’s animal grazes into another man’s field and causes destruction he must restore from the best of his field or vineyard. (Exodus 22:5)• When silver or gold is given to another for safe keeping and it is stolen, he shall be judged and pay back double the loss. Social Responsibility • If a man seduces a virgin who is not married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride price. (Exodus 22:16-17) • Do not mistreat an alien or oppress him. • Do not take advantage of an orphan or a widow. If they cry out to Me, I (God) will certainly hear and kill you. (Exodus 22:22-24) Laws of Justice and Mercy • Do not spread false reports. • Do not help the wicked man by being a false witness. (Exodus 23:1) • Do not side with a crowd and pervert justice. (Exodus 23: 2-3) Regulations About Infectious Disease • Infectious diseases—Leviticus 13:1-46; 14:1-32. • Unlawful sexual relations—Leviticus 18:3, 4, 6-8; 19:20, 21, 29. • Various laws—Exodus 19:1-37. These were summarized by the Lord Jesus Christ, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments”. (Matthew 22:37-40 NIV) How to Set Boundaries After 430 years in Egypt, most of it serving as slaves, the people of Israel left Egypt and went to Mount Sinai. There the Lord spoke to Moses and began teaching former slaves how to live as freemen and free women in society. He stated their purpose as anation, “You are to be for Me (God) a kingdom of priests and a holy nation (Exodus 19:6). Priests were to be wholly consecrated to His service and be channels of God’s grace to the nations. (Genesis 12:2-3; 42:1-4; 49:8-12; Isaiah 61:6; I Peter 2:5; Revelation 1:6; 5:10; 20:6) [1] The first teachings about boundaries were directives to Moses from God: Go to the people today and tomorrow and consecrate by washing their clothes and abstaining from sex. Be ready for I will come down on Mount Sinai (in fire, thunder and lightning, and a sounding of the trumpet louder and louder and God make. (Exodus 19:16-19) Clear Instructions • Put limits (boundaries) for the people around the mountain. • Tell them, “Do not go up the mountain. Do not touch the foot of it.” • Give the warning, “Whoever touches the mountain shall surely be put to death.” • Put in place the means of enforcement: the offenders shall be stoned or shot with arrows. • This order is in place until the ram’s horn sounds a long blast. Principles of Boundary Setting The purpose of a boundary is to lower the pain of relating closely in community. • Set the boundaries clearly for everybody involved. • When the boundaries are set, expect that someone will violate them. • Set consequences if the boundaries are not kept. (The consequences should fit the offense.) • Set up a means of reinforcing the boundaries by following through with the consequences promised. Be consistent. • When boundaries are set and reinforced you will lose painful, dysfunctional relationships. • When the boundaries are set and reinforced you will gain low pain, functional relationships. Codependency It takes two to make a codependent relationship. These characteristics arose out of study of alcoholic families. In codependent families there are three parts: the user and abuser, the used and abused and the children who live in the family who make dysfunctional adaptations in order to survive. They learn how to live dysfunctionally and they are very wounded. In this section, the emphasis will be on the primary relationship of the user and abuser and the used and abused. These roles may be filled either by men as user and abuser or women. They may even switch roles. However, the more common model is the male in the role of user and abuser. The User and Abuser • They have been used and abused themselves. They are often given to self- medicating with alcohol and drugs and are addicted. • They feel they must dominate, manipulate and control, or their needs will not be met. • Their means of control and manipulation vary from charm, use of sex, to violent aggressive behaviors. • In the codependent life, they have chosen to always win. That means everyone else in the relationship must lose. • They are profoundly self-centered. • They seek and find those who will allow themselves to be used and abused in order to fulfill their own need to control. • They isolate their victims from all support systems they can in order to maintain dominance. • When the victim leaves, the user/abuser feels betrayed and that the victim is ungrateful. He has very low self-esteem. • They blame the victim and almost never see themselves as aggressive users and abusers. • Their denial of all responsibilities for the “break up” is absolute. However, if false contrition will get them back, then they will use it. • After they give up getting the victim back, they seek and find another to take their place. • Some users and abusers are aggressive to the point of physical abuse and kill their victim. • Verbal, emotional, psychological and physical abuse, along with blaming and shaming, are commonplace. • They continually violate and cross healthy boundaries. The Used and Abused Victim • She submits to the user/abuser all or most of the time in order to have relationship. • She either has no boundaries, or very poor boundaries. • The worse the boundaries, the worse the abuse and the greater the pain. • She submits and feels used and abused. • She internalizes the fear, pain and unmet expectations, and rages quietly within. • She rationalizes to maintain the relationship: “He needs me. I can help him an make things better. He really loves me.” • She often self-medicates with alcohol and drugs. • She has very low self-esteem and feels if she does not submit then she will have no one. • Codependent relationships are win/lose. She always loses. There is no balance, no give and take. • The relationship will last as long as she can contain her anger/rage, or to the point where fear, pain and unmet expectations can no longer be endured. She will break off the relationship and leave at this point. The time of being a doormat and being walked on is over (usually only for a while). • She retreats within rigid walls, the purpose of which is to protect herself from being hurt ever again. • She builds the walls of isolation in various ways: by anger, by silence, by leaving and putting physical distance between herself and her abuser. • Rigid walls protect, but they do not provide any means of relating. She becomes lonely. • Loneliness cannot be endured. They may reason, “Any relationship is better than none at all.” • They go back to what they knew and take up the victim role again. The process may be repeated over and over again. • They internalize the thought, “I do not know how to choose good men; I’m a mess. I do not deserve any better.” They often destruct and hate themselves. • They always wait for the abuser to do the right thing. They never, or only after time and great pain, take the initiative to protect themselves and leave the abusive situation. There are only four ways of relating to others. Only one of these is healthy and can be maintained over time. What kind of relationship one has depends on what kind of boundaries one has and that determines the amount of wounding you have. Boundaries in Relationships The four boundaries are: No Boundaries, Holes in Your Boundaries (poor boundaries), Rigid Walls and Reciprocal Boundaries: No Boundaries (win/lose) Others always decide. They are always being hurt. The pain is always extreme. Anger and rage are internalized until the emotional, psychological and physical pain cannot be endured.The relationship is over, at least for a while, and the relationship comes to an end. Poor Boundaries (holes in boundaries) This person usually has good work boundaries but poor personal boundaries. She does not know how or just does not set personal boundaries. They love their work. The boundaries are set for them. They love the structures the boundaries provide, and they feel safe and are able to function well. In their personal life they live like the person with no boundaries. Their personal life is a painful shamble. Rigid Walls This is usually a short-term fallback place of protection from pain. The walls of protection do not allow relationships, only isolation. They become lonely and seek relationship like what they had in the past. They feel acute loneliness, find someone and go to euphoria, repeat the same mistakes, become enraged and pain filled. Then they repeat the whole process over again.The last boundary they learn is the only one that works overtime. It is a permeable boundary: • The person sets and maintains a complete boundary around himself/herself at all times. • Within the boundary is a door that allows relationships when needed and sought after. • The door only has a handle on the inside of the boundary so that the person within has sole authority to open and close the door. • The person within takes authority and assertively maintains the boundary and decides when and for what reason to open the door. They are in charge of their own space. • Accept that the people they relate to have and should have the same authority to maintain their boundaries and relate as they choose as well as they. • They give themselves the right to say “Yes” or “No” without guilt or feeling selfish. They know that this is healthy and normal, not selfish and wrong. • Their relationships are marked by a balance between them of giving and receiving or give and take. • There is reciprocity between them. It is not all give on one side and all receive on the other but giving and receiving that goes back and forth. • They realize that no one is without wants and needs. The relationship is maintained so that those wants and needs are naturally met. • If one always gives and one always takes then the one who gives becomes “mined out” and ends up empty, depleted of emotional, psychological and physical resources. For more information and help check out Dr. Coad’s book, The Divided Soul  in the Book Store. Category:   Norman's Place Tag: Multiple Personality Disorder

All people who dissociate have certain characteristics in common: • They have the hereditary ability to form personalities/alters by splitting their personality. • They have all been traumatized by some form of abuse. The abuse may be intentional or unintentional. The trauma arises out of verbal, physical, sexual, emotional, psychological and other traumas. Sexual, physical and Satanic ritual abuse are common. They may be traumatized in the womb, the birthing process, neglect, abandonment or fear, etc. • Many of our heroes are traumatized by work related events: the horrors of war in military, commonly called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, firemen may be traumatized by the fires and horrific accidents they must deal with, police are almost always afraid someone is going to try to kill them. More women are abused than men, at a ratio of about three women for every man, so that DID or MPD is more common in women. • Much of the abuse occurs very early in life in the family of origin. • There is demonization when the person is traumatized by some form of abuse and made to feel powerless, unprotected and isolated. • Their basic trust is all but destroyed. • To the abused, words like “normal,” “right” and “healthy” have been distorted or have no meaning at all. They are the little boy or girl outside the candy store who never get to taste the sweets and can only wish and wonder what “normal” and “healthy” is.• To them, love is always conditional and performance based. This is the only type of love or acceptance they have ever experienced. • Their self-esteem is low. Self-hatred and self-rejection are common. • They are so conflicted within themselves that they do not know who they are. • Their boundaries are poor to non-existent. Dissociative facts of life push life to the extremes. They live in the extremes. Nothing is done in moderation. That is because their separated parts (called “alters” or “personalities”) are programmed by demons, spirits of the dead and workers of iniquity. All alters have limited capabilities. They are, after all, only parts of the whole. It is true of programming, as in all things demonic, nothing is what it seems to be. Deception and lies mark every aspect of programmed personalities. Some of the types of programmed alters are as follows: • The Full Alter —They look like a person with human features and attributes. Within one person there may be males or females, adults, or many children. The alters stop growing psychologically and emotionally at the point of trauma. • Fragments —These are split off parts of the birth personality forming parts of alters. • Fused Alters —These are usually full alters that have been made hollow and are just a mere shell. Evil spirits are put within to control, cause the alter to act out in evil ways. The evil ones are protected from pain by a veneer of human personality. These alters have no life of their own. • False Alters —They are programmed to live so as to confuse, to cover up what is really going on within the individual and his or her system of alters. • Segmented Alters —These alters are split and put into individual partitioned areas of the larger whole. The partitions must be removed before deprogramming can take place and be complete. • Changed Alter —This alter is programmed to be changed in appearance and function— as in a human being changed into a bird or a lion. Changed alters function with the characteristics of the being they have been altered to. Stages of the processare: human state, slivered state (change in process) the transmogrified state. The deprogramming is just the opposite. • Siphon Alter —They are programmed by demons to be conduits that are culturally adapted and linguistically fluent to a particular group. They feel empty within until someone comes and works through them (much like a siphon hose is empty until water flows through it). • Dispersed Alter —They are a whole that has been pulverized into tiny dust particles and blown in all directions. The particle separates and are no longer whole. It is almost impossible to reconstruct and heal these by human effort. Therefore, the Lord has prepared angels to gather up the particles and reform them again. Then, we who work with them, can do the necessary healing and deprogramming. • Laminated Alter —Demons and spirits of the dead are laminated to the alters so that they function as one. The evil ones, stuck to the alters, continually give the alters their demonic thoughts, attitudes, emotions and behaviors until the alters believe they are their own. This is not true but lies, deception and confusion. They, the evil ones, with their demonic thoughts, attitudes, emotions and behaviors are separated from the alter by the “sword of the Spirit” (God’s Word) and the faith and authority of the one working with the individual.[1] Carl Rogers said a long time ago that the major factors that are of primary importance are two: the client and his/her environment and the therapist, their personal knowledge of themselves and their subject matter. This is never more true than when the counselor and the client are working with Dissociative Identity Disorder or Multiple Personality Disorder. The client needs to be willing to deal with the pain of the revelations that arise. They also must decide to trust the counselor. If people never get better under the counselor, change counselors. The counselor should be trained in psychology and counseling. They must also be born-again believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, Jeshua the Messiah. They must be a mature Christian with Bible informed intelligence. They must have an ongoing dialogue with the Spirit of the Lord and be mature in receiving and applying words of knowledge and words of wisdom in the counseling experience. They must be men and women of faith. If they are not biblical supernaturalists, they will not do well. (See The Divided Soul, chapter on Limitations and Cautions, p 31-34.) _____ NOTES 1. N.L. Coad. The Divided Soul . p 48-53. For more information and help check out Dr. Coad’s book, The Divided Soul in the Book Store. Category: Norman's Place Tag: Multiple Personality Disorder